And The Answer Is....
Answer # 1 : Let me begin by presenting my ideas about
what a first dance song should be. The song or lyrics of a song that really occur or
define the moment when a couple KNOWS they have fallen deeply in love. Think of your song
as a musical and emotional photograph that fulfills the time, place, and circumstance of
the realization of your love. When you hear this song you can think of nothing else but
spending the rest of your life’s dreams, hopes, & wishes with that special
person.
Now that we have set the mood criteria for a couple’s song ("Our Song") we
must decide if it is danceable. The danceability of any given piece of music is one of the
main reasons I have created the Wedding Song Library. Couples may check several of their
choices with the tempo, and the dance type or characteristic of any posting to the Wedding
Song Library. Then they learn what type of dance they must perform the day of their
wedding. Please excuse the usage of the word perform, but in reality that’s what you
are doing. A dance in front of an audience (all be it an audience that is both
compassionate & sympathetic) along with still and moving photography is a performance.
If you are prepared your first dance can be as memorable as your choice of song. The
danceability of a slow rhythm ballad becomes more difficult as the rhythm or tempo (Bars
Per Minute) of a song is reduced. In other words, the slower the song the harder it is for
dancing. If your selection falls under the categories of a named dance like Waltz,
Foxtrot, Rumba then you must know it or you have some additional work to do.
When I am asked to do so as a dance instructor and educator it would always be my
preference to direct a couple's choice, to a song whose tempo incorporates of the named
dances. In the case of a, "First Dance," I would lean toward the Waltz or
Foxtrot. These two narrow the selections down for the couple but more importantly, when
people learn a named dance they have learned a life skill as opposed to learning something
just for a milestone date. They have afforded themselves the opportunity to dance with a
broader spectrum of people over a wider range of time and circumstances. In keeping with
this line of thought at your wedding both the Brides & Grooms will dance with a parent
or surrogate. This dance partner will be twenty or more years older than either the Bride
or Groom. It is my observation they are more comfortable dancing a basic Waltz or Foxtrot
with a standardized dance frame rather than in a romantic dance position.
To review the criteria of the perfect, "First Dance," song you must ask
yourself, "can I dance to this song which makes me know I am completely in love with
my spouse to be?"
Answer #2 : Many of the most popular first dance songs
(see top ' 97) are over 3 to 4 minutes long. Although three minutes does not seem to be a
long time-when you are the only couple on the dance floor it can seem an eternity!
The optimum time for a first dance should be 2-2:30 minutes long. Due to the length of
some of the songs popular among engaged couples this will require some coordination
between the wedding couple as well as your D. J. Listen to your song and find the verses
that are most meaningful for you. Either you or the D. J. should prepare an audio tape of
the exact time duration that pleases you with the verses you have selected. I often make
these tapes for my students who are about to get married. In this way the engaged couple
can dance to exactly their preference including a segue of songs if they so desire. Also
by keeping the songs shorter and more meaningful all attention will remain focused on the
dance floor!
Answer #3: :- I'm happy to help you with this one, I
can see some sticky areas here and appreciate your concerns.
1. The Bride & Groom must be first! This is your first act as man and wife and IMO
should start every wedding reception. I accept but do not necessarily agree with other
formats.
2. Father of the Bride or whoever presents the Bride with the Bride
3. Groom with natural Mom and then Step-Mom
4. Both sets of Parents dance with each other at the same time and have the Best man dance
with your Mom. That will make her feel special rather than left out. A close uncle or her
brother could also pinch-hit. I'd go for the Best Man!!
Answer #4: When making wedding preparations we often
fall into the attitude that the people we have hired our professionals - they've done lots
of these - they know what to do!
Don't forget this is your day! Don't leave it only in others hands! Although it means
spending extra time on what appears to be small details, it will be worth it. Being
prepared and knowing exactly when things should and will happen will ease some of your
nervousness. I recommend preparing a script, there is an example of one in my book
Quickstart To Social Dancing. Once you have put something down in writing those that you
present it to will have to abide by what your requests are or have a good explanation as
to why they did not!
Be very certain that the MC (sometimes one in the same as the D.J.) knows how to properly
pronounce all the names of the wedding party! They should also know the exact order of the
dance presentations and plan the length of each dance etc.
It sounds like a lot of extra time and effort but it will be well worth it. Have a meeting
with either or both of these professionals and go into that meeting prepared with written
questions and ideas. Each and every wedding reception has similarities as well as great
differences, please don't leave anything to chance!
Answer #5: Many times in the excitement of outfitting
the wedding party, individuals forget that they won't be posed for photographs all day!
They will actually have to sit down, walk around, bend over, hug people, and yes, dance!
Keep this in mind as you try on your wedding day attire. Actually go through the motions
when you have your gown/ tux/ bridesmaid/ attire on. Many a bride and groom have made
their entrance onto a dance floor only to find one member of the couple (or both!) can't
raise their arms to form the dance couple.
While the groom may remove his wedding jacket later on in the reception he must be able to
danced in it for your first dance. A good tuxedo is constructed so that the cut from the
jacket body to the sleeve is higher up in the armpit. The higher this cut is the more
movement capability the jacket has without riding up and down on the grooms neck and
shoulders. Dance jackets for professionals are actually constructed in such a way that we
must push our arms into the sleeve and feel a tightness under the arm resulting in a very
flexible arm and a very quiet bodice of the jacket. I have included other tips about
wedding attire in the special section for brides and grooms in my book Quickstart To
Social Dancing.
Answer #6: Your First Dance as Husband and Wife should
be memorable and emotionally touching. Historically the First Dance is symbolic of the
consummation of the wedding vows. This Dance is the wedding couples first cooperative
engagement and joint endeavor. When the Bride accepts Her dance with the Groom she accepts
it for the rest of her life. The frame and posture of the Groom while he proposes that the
Bride accept this dance all speak of the source of strength, love, companionship, and
guidance he offers his Bride.
The following is a list to help you make these moments as meaningful and memorable as
possible.
1. Learn to dance no later than 6 months prior to your wedding date. You
don t want to do this at the, "panic stage," or last minute.
2. Select a song that you love with a good dance tempo. Foxtrot & Waltz are your best
bet particularly if your using the Quickstart program. Slow ballads are beautiful but too
slow for either Foxtrot or Waltz which makes it very difficult for beginners. If you have
chosen a Slow Ballad there is a popular dance form known as Slow Dancing that you may want
to investigate.
3. Find a book that teaches you to dance and that offers advice for conducting your 1st
Dance. This will save you hundreds of dollars should you need a quick one or two lessons
brush up from an experienced professional. The foreknowledge that a book can provide,
about social dancing, will make any lesson experience highly successful. The book will
then become a great reference for the future.
4. You must be willing to practice often but in short increments.
5. Never make your 1st Dance at the Wedding the first time you are dancing in public. You
must get out on a social dance floor and "swim with the sharks."
6. Be kind, understanding, and forgiving to each other and yourself when learning to dance
together. It isn't easy and it will be a good test of your patience and cooperative skills
as a couple. After all you'll have to do things together, not unlike this, the rest of
your lives.
Answer #7 : This is a very important question
especially since it involves the prudent use of your money and time. In the USA there is
no requirement for dance instructors to be A) Licensed, B)Examined, C)Educated at the
University Level like all other teachers who deal with topics of much less difficulty. So
here are my recommendations:
1. ISTD Credentials which would make this teacher fit to teach not just in the USA
but anywhere in the World especially where A & B are required.
2. A full time Dance Instructor with a minimum 8 years experience. Preferably a
Professional Open Competitor.
3. An independent who charges one at a time at around $50.00/hour. So you don't
have to deal with contract and "sales bologna" that only gives our profession a
black eye.
4. Be very leery of FREE and "too good to be true" offers - they are
setting you up and really are only marketing ploys. Real & concerned teaching begins
after you sign on the bottom line! My gimmick to new students, that I teach personally, is
to give them a copy of "Quickstart To Social Dancing" to read and work with
before their lessons actually begin and at the very least all the new terminology is not
"GREEK." They'll know in advance what is expected of them in order to social
dance.
5.At many studios as a beginner you'll get the teacher who is low man on the totem
pole. Muscle memory is indelible and you want a good foundation. This does not mean you'll
be a pro - it means you'll be able to execute with the least amount of lessons! That will
save money.
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